For me, Christianity was a way of life that I was born into. Faith and life were integrated seemingly seamlessly in my family. Love and trust were held up paramount. Church was a safe place to be myself. I don’t have a great memory, but those I have of church were of play. I would play around with my friend while my parents lingered after church. To greet my babysitter I would run and leap into his arms. Church was also a place that connected me to an amazing world. When I was only about 4 years old my parents were co-chairs of the missions committee at my church and so our family was a heavily involved part of bringing a man from the DR Congo to get his pilot’s license at school in Toledo. So my memory of Christianity at a young age was one of safety, love, and a global vision of connection.
As I grew older, Christianity just made sense. Bad decisions in life were I guess similar to sin, though we rarely used that language. The thing that just made sense to me was that sin led to hurt. I guess I had less desire than most to explore the edge, so to speak, because that way of life tended to hurt not only anyone intended, but everyone around you, and eventually the person making those decisions as well. I say this not to sound superior, but to explain that for me, Christianity and the Christian way of life has been for me one of joy, love, hope, and the possibility for more people to lead good lives.
I’ve never particularly been shielded from the harsh side of Christian living. The church is filled with sinners and as such has deeply hurt my family, myself, and my husband in particular. Yet despite our faults, in people I see so much hope and potential that I just know that with God at the center we can do extraordinary things in this world.
Every day our society bombards us with images of fear, inferiority, scarcity, and individuality. I’m a Christian because I know for a fact that the God of love who created everything made it good and sufficient. We live in a land of abundance not scarcity. We can flourish as community not needing an “every man for himself” mentality. All are uniquely special, there is enough love and appreciation to go around to everyone, therefore we need not compete. And I can go on and on. Christ came to tell us that the prevalent motivations in our world are based on a reality that has been conquered by an amazing God.
Though I haven’t run far from my faith, and as nice as it would be to say that I’ve been a Christian my whole life, Christianity is something that is chosen most every day, in almost every decision, even many that are unconscious. Slowly as I grew up I grew closer to God. There are times in High School that I know I paid more attention to that journey than others. Over time I’ve learned more about how many decisions relate to being a Christian. I’ve struggled with inadequacy and doubt, anger that God would allow so much pain in the world and the feeling of impotence to do anything about it as my heart breaks. Journey is a good word, but a word I like better is conversation. Talking with God seems to come fairly naturally to me. God and I talk about lots of things, and in the process I’ve learned that it’s ok to hurt, doubt, question, and fear as long as I remember to turn those things over to God in the end.
I don’t believe it is an easy way of life, though I know it has greatly blessed me. I can’t imagine living any other way. The only one I know for certain cares more deeply about the people of this world than me is God, and I take comfort in that because somehow God is already taking care of all of it and more.
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