Responsibility vs. Blame

Powers and Principalities are personified in some literature, My professor said that by personifying it, we make it distant. In some ways it divorces us from the responsibility for the evil that exists. For example when we say "the economy" is the problem we divorce responsibility from ourselves and our actions. When we say "Satan made me do it" we're shifting responsibility off of ourselves. It can become an excuse that separates us from the need to change our actions.

I'm not sure that this is always the case, sometimes it empowers us to act when we can stop feeling guilty for our actions and instead consider ourselves fighting a battle with sin. On the other hand I don't tend to personify sin so who knows. It was an interesting idea though.

Joy in the Vision

So unrelated to actually school inspired insights this one is still church related.

I've been thinking a lot recently about what actually makes me happy. I'm good at a fair number of things including school, but often those things which I still enjoy, somehow bring me more stress and anxiety than joy. I love the church, but working in them is very hard trench work sometimes. So what in the midst of all this pressure that I put on myself to succeed, brings me the joy and energy to keep working at the things that are hard but important?

Today I'm thinking that what brings me joy is visioning. Perhaps that is why Prophesy came up on my first gifts inventory. I love to vision and dream about where we're going and where we could be going. I also love to just contemplate the what ifs of faith. I don't make doctrine out of these, I just have some pretty cool ideas that bring me joy and energy.

Perhaps getting away from this tendency to dream has been part of my stress. Perhaps I need to think less about how to keep all this stuff in my head, and dream more about what if a ministry incorporated this idea? What if I learned through dreaming. As a child I had a rich internal imaginative life, perhaps this is a way to utilize that as a gift.

Last thought, John asked me how I could make this joy more than something for myself. Perhaps my joy could be to reinvigorate, inspire, give permission, equip, help etc. others to dream too. Perhaps I can help others not feel so alone when they dream if I'm walking beside them. I'm gonna start with my pastor :) ...Well, maybe I'm already starting with myself.

Me? Relate to You?

An interesting insight came to me today as three thoughts converged. I'll tell it backwards from the point of convergence. I was reading an article tonight written by a grandfather in my conference annual financial report. The article was entitled "A Story to Tell about Next Generation Leadership Development." I haven't actually read it all, but what I thought was about the need for me to be treated as an equal by people of his generation and my parent's generation. I remember at one church specifically feeling like they saw me as "their children's age" and I never felt like I could be a friend let alone an equal at the church. As I read the article I wished that someone would write about the challenges and yet necessity of this kind of relationship. And that it would need to come from someone older who kinda got it!

But then I remembered my thought from earlier today as I read Across the Generations: Incorporating All Ages in Ministry: The Why and How. When I read about the Millennial Generation the "Representative members" included Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. I balked at this! It was so weird to me to be classified with these children I remember watching on Full House, and having been past the age that saw them as icons. How would I relate to these children? How would I be able to treat them as equals? Perhaps I could write an article about this challenge and my ability to empathize with the difficulties of older generations to respect me as an equal. Perhaps we could find some common ground in our short comings and move forward together?

Make a Difference with Small Steps

Deep down, I've avoided participating in things like environmentalism, simple living, fair trade, intentional buying practices, etc. because I've felt that it was too overwhelming. If I cared about it a little then I'd have to do lots of things and change everything about my consumption practices and that would take way too much energy. I've pushed myself to do a few things, but for the most part I block out the reasoning that these things are important.

Well I read a book called Consuming Religion by Vincent Miller. In it he talks very concretely about tactics we can do to counter the habits that Consumer Culture forms in us and that we inadvertently take into Religion (which tends to weaken religion). He said that simply unmasking these habits is a good and helpful thing. He goes on to say that simply taking one item you consume and trying to find out its origins helps combat the abstraction from the roots of something and its production that consumerism promotes.

This was hopeful for me! I don't have to do everything to make a difference for at least me. I don't have to change the environment and society for my actions to matter.

So why does this matter to religion? Well we have a tendency to abstract our religious symbols, actions, and more from the complex relationships that they have. So our symbols only matter in how they relate to me, and we miss out on the fullness of their meaning which ties our faith together. By treating objects we consume at more than just the surface consumption level, we remind ourselves that all things have frequently unexplored depth that is important.

Holy Saturday

Today is Holy Saturday. Yesterday I had the privilege of leading the discussion at my new church for our informal Good Friday Service. We really focused on Holy Saturday, after Jesus died, what was left. In a moment that was very special to me someone talked about death and how it seems hopeless when someone you love dies and you simply won't get a second chance until perhaps heaven, if they went there, if we'll recognize them there, and even that won't be for many years. In response I said that what we have as a church is a hope for something better, even if we can't understand what that better thing is. We point to a hope in God, in the Heavenly Banquet, in the rule of God on earth, in something even if we can't understand how it will make things better.

When I shared this with a friend he said it's kinda like a movie preview, the ones where you can't quite tell what the movie is about but you know you can't wait to see it.

When I'm in my darkest place, there is something that can't let go of that hope. I'm lucky, one of my spiritual gifts is faith. It's a good thing, and if anyone reads this and wants some of my faith just let me know and we can chat.

Turning the Titanic

There are many congregations out there that have good intentions, and yet are dying. Many times pastors and DSs have tried to turn that congregation around without success. Sometimes it is obvious what the needs are for the congregation, sometimes it is not. Too often trying to turn the congregation in a healthy direction feels like trying to turn the Titanic.

I was inspired yesterday by reading about a church in South Africa in The Teaching Ministry of Congregations. This church had a transformation as it owned the need to act out its faith against Apartheid. It wasn't a leading church against Apartheid, but it changed its entire trajectory with the help of a pastor who was only there for 18 months!

Anyone who's interested can check it out, I don't want to summarize his method here, but I want to highlight the inspiring point that given proper leadership, an understanding of a congregation's underlying theology that is assumed, and a solid direction to turn the congregation toward; it is possible to "turn the Titanic." It's amazing, but the underlying ethos of that congregation did change. What hope for those struggling to do a similar task.

Faith Metaphore

well, I haven't posted in a while mostly because I've been too busy with papers and exams to process much of the insights I gain in my studies. Oh well, some will stick and others will pass by.

Tonight I celebrated Earth Hour which is an hour to stop using electricity to raise awareness of environmental concerns. We had a really nice worship service on campus during which I had an image, a metaphore, that was meaningful to me. We each took a candle and went somewhere in the chapel for 10 min. We could sit in silence or pray or whatever we wanted.

For a long while I sat bowed over the candle with my eyes closed. I could see the imprint of the light on my eyelids and the brightness of it covered me. At some point I sat up and raised my head upward with my eyes still closed. The darkness settled over me quickly. I was struck in that moment by what a metaphor that was for my life. There have been times when I have been so engulfed by the presence of God that I could see it clearly just as when I was facing the light. But many other times, probably more times in my life, I've felt that the darkness is all that I could see. It seemed so real. Yet the amazing thing in that moment as I sat with the candle is that I knew that the candle was still there and still blazing. I could feel the candle in my hand even though I couldn't see or feel it's fire. That is what my faith seeks to do. When the darkness is closing in I grasp hold of that which I cannot see. I know that it is real even when I'm scared, even when I doubt, even when I don't understand.

I'm sure it's not a new metaphore, but I want to remember it.