Growing Through Brokenness

I'm not sure how well this fits in as lessons I'm learning, but probably is an area where God is going to be working on me.

I'm in two classes this semester that are challenging me. One is Leading Formation. This past week I stopped reading because I was upset. It brought up all these old hurts and tied them nicely to the present. Instead of helping me heal the past, and distance it from the present, it made me feel like the person I was back then. I felt very vulnerable in class today and I'm not sure where this vulnerability will lead. I want to leave myself open to God challenging me, but dang it hurts.
Then there's my Gospels in a Consumer Culture class. I'm really looking forward to it, but I also know that it's going to make me intentionally examine my relationship to a consumer culture. I may have to change because of it. I've had several experiences in the past that have almost led to change in this regard, I partly hope and partly fear that conviction that I feel may be coming from this class.

So overall, the last couple of days have left me feeling like this semester may be more challenging than I had planned. Not that you plan the kind of growth that breaks you open at your weak points and forces you to rearrange the pieces as you heal. I guess my hope is that I can trust in God to bring me through the process completely. I don't want to get stuck in the middle without a good healing process.